[cade]

Awake. Not once since my children were alienated have I woke up calm. I think I dream I am with them as I am waking. Always a sudden dawning reality. I do not know where my children live, if safe etc. It is immediate adrenaline, and I have noticed, I have become used to the feeling of panic.

The moment I realize I am awake. Not dreaming. Panic. I need more movement, better sleep & nutrition. I simply have so many “I musts”. If I could only sell my intentions. Cade, Stop lock and load. Move, inch closer to your daughters. Today is good.