[cade]

I heard you two littles were playing volleyball. It may be old news, but its new to me. Believe me, if I was allowed I would be at every game. I would be your best cheerleader. And oh my, we would all three practice together. These days are coming. I can’t wait to see you again. I sure love you girls. You will see this and more one day. Its mission behind every letter typed and video uploaded here. After that its to duplicate any success with any fathers that need this as well. Miss Marie, have a baby. Miss Larue, upload a song some where, I want to hear your pretty voice. Miss LL, bring that grandson by whenever you like. I’ll cook you both steak. I miss you both.

[cade]

The day that restraining order hit. I left a note for each of you littles. They were under your pillow. It said not to worry. It said God would work it out and we had each other. I think I am close. Geesh, I did not know he had this long in mind. Your brother and I both for so long kept saying mom would wake up. I did not think this would go on so long. I love you two. If you kept those notes, they were on paper from your note book, keep them. We will read them together soon. Shoot, I hate tears on my keyboard, finger tips slip and typos galore. I can see us playing in your room. God, a year plus, your voices. Silent. I am working on the rest of those letters. Soon. Night “Pink Bottoms & A Teal Top”, saw a picture. You are a beautiful young girl now. And you, my little JW, so proud of you. Volley Ball! Night. -Super hug. -Dad

[cade]

Yup, thinking of you all you daughters. Ya know, you turned out fabulous. Course you and us have our precious flaws. Overall you all impress me. Cant wait for God to fix us, mend us. Sooth the hurts and pull out the lies. We all are a mess at times. I know this about you all. I am still here, does not matter what mistakes you make. I am Dad, unconditionaly. It was my desire. Each one of you were planned. And miss “don’t call me Jose” were a delightful excuse to ride without a helmet while entertaining the happy thought, “what if YOUhappened?” And you did to our delight! Till we hug again. -Dad

[cade]

Wish you were both snuggled up on the couch with me and I later I got to tuck you in at night. Like I have all your sisters before you. Just is so wrong! It ok. Whether we see eachother again in short or long time. Its Gods plan, good is going to come from this. I love you girls. Ask you olders sisters about the peace and grace ritual they both had to have done before the could sleep. I tucked them in every night. Good memories. We will make more. -Night

[cade]

Tucked you all in in my mind. I am glad and thankful for each of you. I smile when you fly back and forth cross the shadow curtain in my mind. Night.

[cade]

Your all on my mind. I sure love you all. Saw an old family picture. All smiles. Goodnight. Peace & Grace N Your Hearts.

[cade]

Imprinted. I remeber the day my 18 year old daughter C Bear came rushing into the kitchen. She is the one who walks and talks with her hands like me the most. Her eyes, big bright, yet dark and piercing, held mine. She said this. “Dad! You have to stop drinking coffee instead of water first thing in the morning.” She pushed a big cup of ice water twoards me as she finished her thought. I had raised my coffee mug up to my face when she had interupted, it was paused there, frozen. I stuck between one mug and another, as I took in her data download. I miss her btw.
I drank water slowley, keeping an eye on her as she explained all the benifiets of “water first , your body must have it to wake up, not coffee…” Within a minute of drinking half the glass, I concluded she was right. To this day, happened this morning. I forgot the water.

Now to me, it is peculiar not that I still forget, but when I remember. It is ALWAYS two inches from my chin, in upward motion. I can feel the warmth of the pipping steam, the smell of fresh roasted. My lips part, my sleepy body dependant on that caffiene thrills and then… C Bear is here! Walking right in, I see the large glass of ice water, I feel the same inspiration she had that morning, I hear all her words darting back and forth and she convinces me, everytime. This one moment has most likley changed my rest of life health for, ya the rest of my days, assuming she continues to interupt me before I sin every morning. She will, she has been faithful.

Cbear, there is so much here about you and I, intrajects, attachments omg if you could only see. It would maybe answer some questions that keep you away. I wish you to see so I can love and be loved by you. This though is not my capability, impossible. This belongs to God. Until he moves I wait in movement. In peace. I love you. Chin up. Things change. -Dad

[cade]